He Broke Me, But I Woke Up

He broke me. He broke me in ways I never knew were possible. He made me lose who I was. When you genuinely, wholeheartedly love someone, you think you’re supposed to make them happy by any means necessary while still holding on to your own happiness.

He broke my spirit. He made me feel like I was crazy all the time. Everything was twisted. He was good with his words, and it made me feel slow and dumb. Even with the education I have that he doesn’t that man still made me feel small. He twisted things so much that I started thinking “maybe it’s me.” But it wasn’t. It was his manipulation, his lies, his control.

When you love someone, you’re supposed to love them through thick and thin, through all seasons. And in the hard seasons, when one is down, the other is supposed to carry the love for both. But somehow, I was the only one loving us and he wasn’t loving me at all.

I want us, as women, to wake up. When you see a red flag, don’t ignore it. Intuition is real. That feeling in your gut, that ringing in your ear, that loud inner warning that your sign. That’s Danger! But we silence it, tuck it away, pray on it, and hope it gets better. It doesn’t.

Nine times out of ten, his life gets better while ours falls apart. We live in turmoil day by day, minute by minute, hour by hour. Yes, there are good days. Days that feel warm and full of love again. But it’s one-sided.

I’ve realized I am triggered and bothered by infidelity it makes me feel ill. Because once trust and loyalty are gone, they’re gone. Now, I see a red flag, even a small one, and I’m done. The trust is gone.

I allowed that man to make me feel like I’m not lovable. But I am.